This is the page of bad tidings!  We shoot straight from the hip here, so if you get easily upset you have absolutely no business reading on...

Virtually all hot climates suffer from bugs of the creepy crawlie variety and we even get them at home.  Ants are pretty proliferous everywhere and, as with many things in this life, prevention is better than cure.  Keep the little devils out by ensuring your room or apartment is free from crumbs and food particles.  Food attracts them like bees to honey.  Cockroaches are rather repugnant, but they do make a guest appearance in some areas.  The creepy critters also fly, so they are not contained only on ground floor.

Lizards are indigenous in many Mediterranean countries and in the Caribbean, but all are harmless and the tiny creatures are certainly more afraid of you than the other way round!  Mosquitoes are the bane of everyone's life abroad and really can make for a miserable holiday if they decide to make you their host.  Some people react quite badly to these buzzing bugs, so a course of anti-histamines before departure is often the answer.  In addition, the electrical plug-in devices (easily available in local resorts) are effective as are some sprays and ointments.   Believe it or not, the inland lagoon in Cancun has some residents which one would rather not encounter on a lazy swimming afternoon - crocs and gators!  Even for the Mark Spitz types, staying out of the lagoon is probably the wisest advice as that floating log may just not be what it seems......

Egypt, being a rather exquisite exotic location has its own baddies in the form of snakes, scorpions and crabby camels - ok, so we're a bit over the top here, but if you hike across a desert, don't say we didn't warn you!

The final baddies on the list are probably other holidaymakers - those dreadful types who make you blush and cringe.  These can range from the types who monopolise the swimming pool, play beachball like a rugby scrum and soak everyone with their not so magnificent dives landing like spouting whales beside you.  The other category is less visible, but nonetheless irritating - the all-night party goer or thrower.  This type have no consideration for man or beast and, after all, just want to have fun - at every other resident's expense, unfortunately.  Have the bad luck to sleep in the apartment below and you will do everything except sleep.  Stiletto heels on marble floors, drunken bawls translated as singing and boisterous shouts and roars as the revellers quietly communicate - this is the party from hell.

Another baddie is he or she who decides to misbehave on the flight.  Every flight crew's (and passengers!) nightmare goes as follows: raucous shouts from the rear of the plane, rustling as duty free bags are opened in-flight and setting off the smoke alarm in the toilet.  Most reasonable people would agree that such behaviour is simply unacceptable and, thankfully, the airline personnel are fully in agreement also.

The Captain of the aircraft is the captain of his ship and has the ultimate decision in all matters, so a hard line will be the order of the day henceforth.  Airline crew are trained to ensure the safety and well being of all passengers and this is their priority for all on board.  On boarding an aircraft nowadays, don't be surprised if you are relieved of your clinking duty free bag on entrance.  It will be returned safe, sound and intact on disembarking.  Strict guidelines will also be issued with regard to the behaviour expected on board and the consideration due to all traveling passengers.

Don't for one second imagine that you can delay take-off, become unruly, rude and obnoxious, then imagine it is your right to light up on a non-smoking flight. The final insult would be your indignation when the Captain threatens to off-load you and abandon you at a foreign airport.  Well, forget it buddy, you are high risk material!  Our advice is: sit tight and belt up.